time to run

I’m a new stay at home mom (SAHM). When my husband and I found out we were expecting #2, we knew that I’d be taking a leave of absence from my job as an English teacher. There was no way I could work and go home to my kids having stacks upon stacks of essays to grade.

I wasn’t sure what to expect about this SAHM business. I knew that I was a little (a lot) apprehensive about the whole thing because I’ve never not worked. I’ve worked for as long as I can remember, sometimes 2 and even 3 jobs at a time. I get bored; I need to be kept busy. But, I knew what the real reason was for my apprehension. My fears came from knowing this was going to be the toughest job of all.

So far it hasn’t disappointed. Staying home with 2 under 2 is. hard. work. There are days that I would rather go back to 100+ teenagers and stacks of essays than stay home with a 1 ½ year old and a 2 month old that doesn’t’ yet sleep through the night. It is non-stop running around making sure that they stay in one piece and that I stay in one piece. There are a lot of tears and a lot of crying. There are feelings of inadequacy, of frustration, of sadness. Don’t get me wrong, I adore my children and I’m very blessed to have the opportunity to stay home with them, but, there are days that I’d like to put make-up on and look like a normal person. Sometimes I miss talking to an adult. I’d like to go out in public without fear of public scrutiny because of my kids’ shrieking.

My outlet is running. With a husband that works 12 hours days—he leaves me at 6 and comes home at 6—it doesn’t leave me much time to run. My daughter, the oldest, goes to bed at 8 so we have to squeeze dinner, bath time, and bedtime routines in those two hours. Some days, most days, I have a mental countdown to the time when I leave to go to my gym. All I think about is that time-to-go number on the clock.

Yes, after my long day of tantrums, screams, and food fights, I go running.

My friends think I’m crazy. How the heck do you have the energy to go work out?! I’d go straight to bed! But in all honesty, running makes me feel better. Running gives me the energy to wake up the next day and do it all over again… rejuvenated. It’s like I sweat away the negative energy I built up from the long day and I wake up with a positive attitude ready to tackle what comes. My whole day is spent trying to entertain and keep my kids happy. Gym time is my happy time and I can’t think of a better way to end the day.

2 responses