Saying No

There’s a lot of things I’ve been saying no to lately. This wasn’t always an easy thing for me to do. Still isn’t.

But as the years have gone by, I’ve found it necessary to say no to things that inhibit my growth as a person, a parent, a teacher, and a runner.

Here are few things I’ve said no to recently:

Saying no….to over scheduling. With school out, I’ve felt a little pressure to sign my kids up for all the things. At my daughter’s Pre-K graduation, several parents asked what camps my daughter would attend. Ummm…none? It didn’t even cross my mind to sign her up for anything. I just figured we’d hang out all summer together. It made me start questioning myself, “Should I put her in something? Am I being a bad mom for not signing her up for a class/camp?” But, no. She’s fine. I’m fine. She’ll be plenty busy when school resumes and summer time will be family time.

You guys, I have a Kindergartner!

Saying no….to all the the races. When I was training for New York City Marathon, I did not race at all during my training cycle. My eye was on the sub-4 prize and I didn’t want to lose my focus. I have the same feelings now about St. George. I’m on a mission to Boston Qualify and I don’t want to worry about races/PRs before that happens. I was signed up for Rock and Roll San Diego, a race I’ve been really wanting to do. As a Rock and Roll ambassador (Rock ‘n’ Blogger–did I even tell you guys I was selected?!?) I have the ability to go to any race. I jumped on San Diego…. But then life stuff came up and San Diego no longer fit in that plan–so I pulled out of the race. I have a ton of friends going this weekend and the FOMO is for real. But, I have to stay firm on my no. Beyond the life circumstances that came up preventing me from going, I also have to keep my eye on the BQ prize. So as of right now, I have zero races leading up to St. George.

Saying no….to negative thoughts. I mentioned in previous posts that I’m trying to get my diet together. I gained some weight after New York City and Phoenix Marathon and I’ve felt it (and seen it, sadly). It’s tough to put on clothes and them not fitting as they should–the negative thoughts start creeping in and it’s easy to let them overtake you. But no, I’m fine. I’m doing what I can (healthily) to lose those pounds I’ve gained, and I just need to be patient.

Saying no….to fear. I’ll be back to teaching this fall. Yay!!! And while I’m excited, I’m super scared and nervous to be at a new school, teaching a new subject–still English, but I’ll have two sections of beginner writing for non-English speakers. This is a foreign territory for me (see what I did there? I crack myself up!) and I have a thing about the unknown. I like knowing. Unfortunately, that’s just not how life works, lol!

Saying no….to comparisons. I’m really good about not comparing myself to others. I love following people’s training journey, and I’m able to be happy for their successes without feeling like I’m lacking or slow in comparison. I have a very good friend who is also training to BQ at St. George and people have joked if we’ll remain friends afterward. I think that’s so silly–we don’t compete against each other. We really don’t. We are genuinely happy when one has a good run or race. We don’t base our progress/success on whether one is faster than the other.

BQ training buddy ❤ #makeithappen

BUT, it’s very difficult for me to not compare myself to myself. I’ve written about this before. I’ve come off two marathon training cycles and I’ve allowed myself to rest/recover. Right now, as I begin my next cycle, I feel like I’m starting over–which I am. And I have to allow myself to be okay with that. I can’t expect my fitness to maintain year-round; my body needs some down time. I look at pictures/paces from last year (and even a few months ago) and I wonder if I’ll ever get back to those times. I know it’s dumb, but those negative thoughts again…they creep in. I re-read the post I wrote last year and I found myself nodding at my words:

“…right now it’s important for me to focus on the present. I shouldn’t be working on becoming someone I was a long time ago, I should work to be a better version of me–”

And as always with time and growth– each year, each marathon, you learn.

“I’m a better version of myself now than back then because I know more. I know more about training, diet, mental strength. I’m stronger on a lot of levels. And I know that with hard work, I can be faster than back then.”

I can say yes to all of that!

–What have you said ‘no’ to lately? Is there something you feel you should say ‘no’ to?



10 responses

  1. Love this and you! It’s so funny that you posted about this because I was JUST talking about prioritizing races for this fall and it’s so hard to not want to sign up for everything! You know the FOMO is real in our circle 😂 But I’ve got to keep my eye on my own prize and re-prioritize around that instead.

    In other news, I’m so excited to watch the two of you chase those BQ dreams. I’m always cheering for you both!

  2. Thank you for sharing. It is so easy to get caught up in the expectations of others or even our own. Saying ‘no’ is a powerful skill to have and frees you up to be the best person you can be. Well done.

    • Thank you! Yes, sometimes I feel like we’re pressured a lot to say yes and commit to things that we may not have wanted to commit to. Saying no is definitely a tough, but like you said, powerful skill

  3. I’m saying no to overscheduling as well, at least with regards to blogging, lol. I’m excited for you to get back to teaching! I think you needed a break and to focus on some other things, but you are an amazing teacher, and those kids are lucky!

    • I’ve been saying no to blogging too, LOL. It’s crazy because I thought being at home would allow for more time to do but it’s been the exact opposite! I’ve been too busy playing with these kids 🙂

  4. This is great! I love it when people I care about start to learn boundaries and self-care in the way of saying NO. I used to turn myself inside out for anyone and everyone and let’s just say, it ended poorly. You’re ahead of the game already to be self aware enough to know when to say no. This is great.

    I taught English as a Second Language for a few years in my late teens/early twenties and at first I thought I’d hate it but I ended up LOVING IT. I worked with Koreans, and their accents were so fun! One lady named Mina tried to pronounce the word “important” but it would come out as “impotent.” So I had to explain what impotence was, and of course I had to use hand gestures. Classic.

    • It’s funny because the people at the school where I’ll be at have made it sound….not very fun, but for some reason, that makes me excited! Like, the challenge of it is appealing. It’s good to hear someone who HAS liked it and I trust your judgment ❤

  5. Love this! It can be so hard to say no sometimes and I love to see you staying strong in knowing what you need for yourself. I missed that you were starting a new teaching job in the fall – congratulations! It sounds like a great fit for you!